Life comes at us fast. We all gotta be faster.

I TOLD YOU I’M ON AN FF5 KICK GUYS!!!!! GAAAAH I’M INFECTED!!!!!

DON’T HELP ME! I LOVE IT!!!!!!

d-apres-moi:

Hey if you guys wouldn’t mind, would you please keep my dad’s safety in your prayers tonight?
There was a homicide just a few houses down on my street. The entire area has just been surrounded all day today, and still is, and my dad works not too far down from it.

Hey guys! Yeah you! You right there! Reading this! Pray! PRAY NOW!

Seriously

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I’m on a FF5 kick guys…

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akittensblog:

hannawolfcross:

theghostparty:

pondermoofin:

vaniirox:

#i feel so bad when any guy or girl tries to date his daughter #because you show up at their door and her dad is Thor

Look how badass he is while holding that baby

 #I can imagine him using his Thor voice on her #like when she’s crying in the middle of the night #WHAT IS WRONG DAUGHTER OF MINE#DO YOU REQUIRE NOURISHMENT#WHY DOTH YOU TORMENT ME SO PRECIOUS ONE 

But what if he used it on the guy who came to the door for his daughter?

TELL ME, MIDGARDIAN. WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS TOWARDS MY DAUGHTER?

I AM OBLIGED TO INFORM YOU NOW THAT ANY DISRESPECT TOWARDS HER SHALL SURELY END POORLY FOR YOU.

WHOSOEVER DATETH MY DAUGHTER

IF HE BE WORTHY

SHALL POSSESS

THE BLESSING OF THOR

and watch when the time comes, he’ll just be like “Hey, mate, treat her good okay? Bring her back before eleven please. Drive safely.”

I THINK WE HAVE TO WORRY MORE ABOUT HER GODFATHER, TOM LOKI HIDDLESTON TBH.

#ohohohohohohohrhioehehehheheh i followed you in my car to make sure you paid for her dinner hehehehehehehehe #i’ll literally come into your house and kill you if you break her heart #hehehehehehee

What the hell.
This is the greatest post in the universe.

it’s updated

Rebloggin for the comments.

Tumblr, I can’t take you anywhere.

I love you

ALL of you

this just keeps getting better!!!

Dear lord this girl is going to have the hardest time getting a boyfriend. The poor thing is going to come home, stomp up to her room, try to slam the door, but it’ll be impossible because Chris Hemsworth will effortlessly stop the door with his huge Norse God arm.

And she’ll be like “DAD! YOU SCARED HIM AWAY!”

“I DID NO SUCH THING, MY DEAREST DAUGHTER. I ONLY SPOKE TO HIM THE TRUEST TRUTH OF THE NINE REALMS.”

“Oh my god, dad…”

“HE HAD AN ILL LOOK ABOUT HIM, I LIKED IT NOT. YOU ARE DESERVING OF THE HIGHEST OF QUALITY IN MEN, NOT THE LIKES OF HIM. YOU HAVE A DUTY AS PRINCESS OF ASGARD TO MARRY WELL AND SERVE THE KINGDOM, AND I ALSO WISH THAT YOU MAY HAVE A HUSBAND WHO WILL TREAT YOU AS THE QUEEN YOU ARE.”

“Dad… I’m not a queen! Stop it!”

And then Tom Loki Hiddleston, her godfather, walks in and she’s like: “And YOU! YOU SCARED HIM, TOO!”

“Oh, I did? My mistake. I overestimated the bravery of the young man, I fear.”

“WELL DONE, BROTHER.”

“Dad! Uncle Tom! SHUT UP! YOU’RE NOT EVEN REAL BROTHERS!”

“I fear your daughter is saying hurtful things in her anger, she means them not, I think. Worry not, Thor, I had trouble with my children more than once…”

“UNCLE TOM YOU DON’T HAVE ANY KIDS!”

“BROTHER PERHAPS WE SHOULD LEAVE HER TO HER ANGER.”

“No, wait! You guys have to stop doing this, I’m never going to get a boyfriend if you keep doing this!”

“Oh, alright. We shall never again berate or intimidate the young men whom you present to us. I promise.”

“UNCLE TOM STOP TALKING LIKE THAT.”

“Darling girl, my name is Loki, God of Mischief, Silvertongue, Lord of Lies. I know not of this Tom you speak of.”

“YES, MY DEAR. YOUR YOUNG MEN SHALL BE SAFE FROM ANY SO-CALLED WRONGDOING OF OURS.”

“Dad…”

“WHAT IS IT, DAUGHTER?”

“Never mind. Thanks, good night.”

#And then the next day Tom and Chris are in full costume#helmets and all#with their scepters and their capes#And she brings in this young guy#and they open the door#And there’s her father and her godfather#Tom smiling his ovary-bursting smile#you know the evil one that’s also strangely sexy#And Chris has his hammer at the ready#and they greet him#calling him a suitor for the hand of the princess of Asgard#talking about how he’ll need to complete nine Trials to prove himself worthy to have her as his queen

#he never calls her back

I’m sorry

but this just keeps getting better and better

EACH TIME I SEE THIS THERE ARE MORE WONDERFUL COMMENTS

OMFG DIS POST. DEM COMMENTS /dying

It gets better every time!

I am CRYING oh my god

[[And there will be that one guy.

He won’t run or never call again.

He’ll sit there and play along.

“I, (insert name), swear on my very life that thine daughter, thine princess of Asgard shall return safely to you. My very life be forfeit at your hands if it be otherwise.”

It’ll be RDJ’s kid. His dad will have warned him about this long beforehand and quizzed him on it.]]

I didn’t even think it was possible for this post to get any better. Thanks for proving me wrong. 

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• Question: someones still butt hurt they can't use babblr. - Anonymous
• Answer:

  idec anymore… just mad about chrome… it’s like a micro version of the hatred I have for Apple.

• Question: Disney asks? Answer them all. - Anonymous
• Answer:

  Aurora (first kiss): Uhmm… hmm… well this sucks…. it was upside downish… we were in my basement laughing about something just kind of staring at each other… it had been at least a month or two in I guess… and she just kind of looked at me and said ‘kiss me.’ I’m not going to lie and say it didn’t feel amazing at the time… but what it all turned into five to seven months later… well yeah that sucked… sorry it’s not more romantic… bittersweet memory

  Rapunzel (bucket list):  I don’t have one written… but uhmm… it would be incredible to
  -own a sexy fine all-black 97’ Toyota Supra
  -Visit/temporarily live in London and see the rest of the U.K.
  -Create the computer setup of my dreams
  -Be an incredible father (seriously)
  -Hmm… OHHH!!! Go to the wedding of one of my closest friends… Shocktrooper… at least that’s what I call him… gamer buddy who’s been there for me and helped me in ways I can’t begin to describe. I love that guy a lot. I pray God keeps him safe while he’s serving in the USAF. God Bless Our Troops

  Dory (something I’ve been told I can’t forget- 2good 1bad):  Uhmm… well now that I have to bring one to mind… I can’t…

  -My youth pastor told me a while ago that he felt like it was God’s plan for me to be in youth ministry… I thought that was really cool… and it’s been on my mind for a while.

  Hmmm… that’s all I want to say for now

  Pocahontas (something I taught somebody):  Idk? I’ve taught friends some ins and outs of computers, like my brother taught me, like google taught him… so I guess that counts

  Mulan (Do i trust my gut?):  Yes…? I think so. I feel like my gut is pretty much in my head, and my head ‘gut’ is what I know is right… or what feels right… and hopefully that’s being influenced positively. Normally I do yeah. But that doesn’t mean I always make spontaneous decisions. Sometimes my gut needs fed some info.

  Jasmine (really trust somebody):  Well trust is a vague term… Trust somebody how? Trust them in general? Trust them with a secret or job? There’s been a few times when I’ve really trusted somebody in general. Most of the time those ended badly… and that hurt… Is it easy? Trusting somebody… REALLY TRUSTING THEM… whether with something life important… or with who you are at your most exposed… I mean… that’s never easy.

  Belle (close with somebody nobody likes):  I have a new friend here, Andrew. I wouldn’t say I’m super close with him… but lately I’m his only real friend… and nobody else likes him. He has an extreme tendency to be a jerk and say or do the wrong thing… but he’s okay by me. When you get to really know him he can actually be a really cool person… nobody else see’s that… but I really don’t care. I’ll stick up for him. I’m glad I’m his friend. He’s been a closer friend to me than most people have here.

  Ariel (where do I belong why?):  That’s a fantastic question. Get back to me when I have an inkling of an idea.

  Flounder (Something that surprised you and frightened you): Well… there was thing on the bus today… but the bus is always surprising and frightening right?

  Eric (Ever helped a stranger?): I do that quite often. By my own choice. Get this… it’s called BEING POLITE AND HELPFUL.  Random people in public… yeah I’ll help them with little things. I’ve helped neighbors with tasks when I don’t really know them… but if you mean like hardcore helped somebody… not yet. Not to my knowledge.

  Aladdin (sacrifice I made for somebody): Uhmm… idk… there’s been plenty before… can’t really think of any good ones in specific

  Tiana (Time I tried my hardest):  I remember once in Upward Basketball YEAAAARS ago there was only one color of star I hadn’t received yet and it was a grey star for defense… so i worked my butt off at defending at the next game… and I got it! :D And it’s funny now because I’m a more defensive person in any type of game really.

  Boo (childhood hero): Iron Man. Earlier than that? Sonic the Hedgehog.

  Cruella (Something I really want but not allowed to have): Hmm… Uhhh… idk o.O I guess all the things I truly want… are not impossible to have… its just a matter of getting there

  Seven Dwarfs (7 things I like in people)

  -Honesty

  -Real (aka not excessively dramatic)

  -Sense of humor

  -Not afraid to enjoy and be proud of stuff other people might not like/think is cool (aka NON CONFORMIST)

  -Common Sense

  -Intelligent in something. Doesn’t mean they have to be a know it all or really good in school. My friend Ryan back in Wentzville didn’t try worth crap, but he was really smart. He just didn’t care to try.

  -Enjoys video/computer games

  Kronk (Best at in kitchen): Store-bought oven baked pizza. Hell yeah!

  Simba (parent has taught me): Don’t drink alcohol.

  Cinderella (A dream i have): Hmm… lately? Just to be what God wants for me. I know God has something incredible and amazing in store for me. No clue what that is… or how I’ll get there… but I can’t wait for the day I do get there.

  Nemo (bravest moment): lol defending my friends during the moshpit of death at Spring Fever? I may have done something ‘braver’ before, but I don’t remember it if I have.

  Terk (Am I a big brother figure?): Yeah, I have a little sister who looks up to me a lot… and there’s been friends before who view me as a role model/guide. There’s different people who look up to me for different things now and then I’ve noticed… not a lot of people… but I mean… little things here and there people know I’m good with (like computers).

  Buzz (Favorite fantasy world?): Star Wars. No arguments. That is all. Get out.

  Alice (Done drugs): Ahaha… it would be this one. And no. Never. Nor will I.

  Peter Pan (Something from your childhood you still love): Naruto

epic-humor:

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this is beautiful

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