oh…. hey there :D yeah… I haven’t checked tumblr in like… two weeks…. oh wait… im sorry… four days PX but yeah… it feels like two weeks.
My main thought when clicking the magical “T” text button icon thing on my dashboard was to right about how much sense the world DOESN’T make.
And it really doesn’t… There’s so many things where I honestly sit back and think and in real life I probably looks mostly expressionless or I look like I’m just kind of thinking of something in my head. But in my head, I’m thinking of the look I’d be giving you in real life if I could do it without looking psychotic. I seriously just want to stop sometimes and give people the over dramatic one eye bigger then the other stare. o.O
like that ^
while the words “WHAT THE DUCK!?” run through my head at a thousand miles per hour. People just do some weird crap, or they think weird…. idk I guess this is all coming from my bias opinion and thought, but it’s my blog so deal XD I’m not saying I’m not weird. I’m probably one of the weirder ones, just because I refuse to do stuff everyone else does. I have a friend now, and I completely embarrass her on regular occasions because I’ll just say Hi to people or wave at them randomly when we’re walking and she starts getting all embarrassed. We were at the transformers movie, and Optimus Prime was doing something completely awesome and badass. Exactly what that was though I don’t remember because badassness is common for Optimus Prime. BUT ANYWAY! I literally stood up in the middle of the theater and saluted him! Because… well yeah i wanted to XD and she went overload embarrassed and dragged me down into my seat violently and told me to stop giving off hitler salutes to optimus prime, even though it wasn’t even the nazi salute… but that’s her story XP My point that that amazing anecdote that I’m sure you all cared about, is that I really have stopped caring. I don’t care anymore about how I look. I really don’t. I used to be more concerned about it a couple months ago. Stuff has happened lately though, where I simply don’t care anymore. Who the hell am I trying to impress? If I want to impress you, I’ll be myself, because if my normal personality doesn’t impress you enough, you’re not worth the impression. I’m just trying to have more fun lately. Even when waving to random people, I mean, at first their like “Who the hell is that psycho?” But then they laugh about it and it gives them a story to tell later. I mean in some odd way, that adds something good to their day, or at least I hope it does…. o_o
But, idk I guess my main rant right now is people are WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY to concerned with their self image, and also people judge WAAAAYYY too much. If everyone is trying to be like everyone else, then all of us are nothing, because we follow people who refuse to follow themselves.
Now the judging, I mean it’s human instinct, it’s going to happen regardless, but you think people could train themselves to be a little less harsh about it? But then I guess people really don’t care about that do they? That’s the lovely irony about it. They care when its good for them, and don’t when it’s not.
I’m not making sense now am I? XD Oh well… I’m done ranting, I’ll probably be doing it more and more as school gets closer and as drama gets worse on facebook XD I’ve had at least ten friends delete their facebooks in the last week. People are getting sick of it. And they are all coming to tumblr… o_o that’s the scary part…..
but anyway, I think I’m done. Hi followers! Thanks for reading this if you did! Thanks for following me with your such, and thanks to the select few of you who have complimented what I’ve posted, or have taken the time to become a good friend of mine (: (Yoshi :D)
so.. Speedy is back…. he’s been away for awhile… and he missed his tumbling family…. he also has taken to talking in third person, because he finds it makes him excessively psychotic :D
okay I’m going to stop now X)
Hey tumblr peepz…. sooo… life has been full of stuff lately.
I have to say I’ve done more this week then most of my summer (minus maybe cleaning out the abyss of my Grandpa’s apartment) But I’ve been hanging out with new friends, and trying to figure myself out a bit more. I’ve honestly been screwed up emotionally since the whole crap with my old girlfriend (I hate the term “ex-girlfriend” btw… it sounds so…. mean?) But I’m seriously getting over it now I think. Like… I still think about her and all. Just because it’s over doesn’t mean kick them to the curb, but I need to stop grieving over something that will never change. She’s moved on in life, and I’d rather not be the sick puppy who hasn’t. XP I’m keeping everything we had together I decided, but I’m locking it away. I seriously asked God on this. I’m like “just please God, help me out, I don’t want to ever forget her or remove her from my history, but I don’t want to hurt all the time either…” so I just imagined that somewhere in my little heart shaped box inside my body, I take everything from that relationship, and lock it away. Don’t let it just keep getting at me randomly. I’ll probably bring it out every once in a while, when I need to or want to… but for now, it’s better left locked away. This is seriously how I imagined this stuff btw too. Judge me or whatever XD I don’t care XP It probably sounds cheesy or straight up weird, but it works for me.
Other then that, life has been going on same as normal. Getting closer to God, and getting my head out of the summer daze. I’m reading Catch 22 for school -___- It’s not horrible. honestly it’s not. Probably one of the better reads for school I’ve ever done. BUT ITS SO CONFUSING!!! D: extremely. I’ll describe it later if you don’t know what Catch 22 is… I’m bound to have a ranting relapse after I right my “1,500 word MLA essay using citations from philosophers and the book” o____o
But yeah… I’ve gotten new followers…. so thank you to those people (: And thank you old followers. Speedy is very appreciative that you could possibly care about my rants and opinions XD
I’m shutting up now, and am going to go play Batman: Arkham Asylum :DDD
just as long as
you know that someday I will
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you’re wondering when
(You’re the only one who knows that)
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you’re wondering when
"You think graffiti is ugly? Gigantic posters of ridiculous photo shopped guys in their underwear, advertisements for companies that exploit children in the third world, signs prohibiting your movement and telling you what to do, that's what's ugly to me. Advertisers and governments want to control you, graffiti artists just want to let you know they exist."
“And every time you feel like crying, I’m gonna try and make you laugh and if I can’t, if it just hurts too bad, then we will wait for it to pass and I will keep you company through those days so long and black.”—(via eletheowl)
So I think I finally get it. I’m done crying about it. (yeah I cry, w/e) I’m not wanted there anymore… and I don’t want to be wanted anymore. I see the differences extremely clearly. They only got bigger as time went on. And now they’re at a freaking point where it was claimed they’d never go. Guess what… they went there. I’m done. I’m here, but to the larger idea, I’m done. I hope you enjoy your life. Honestly I do. God Bless.
IN OTHER NEWS: I took a tumblr break I guess. I haven’t been on in days. got on tonight. felt in the mood to post something thoughtful. this last week I keep having this stuff happen and I’m all “I could post about that…. or maybe this too.” And then I forget it, or talk myself out of it or w/e. But overall I never get to tumblr to post it in the first place. But w/e
I’m tired. Tired of alot of shit. I’m tried of myself. tired of my screwed up dreams. tired of summer. tired of my dad. w/e
screw most of it. not completely…. that’s just teenage angst talking. I’m not a “blow off the world, lets roll my way” person. I have more common sense then that. I’d end up dead with that attitude. Laugh at that if you want… think I’m crazy… idc. I just call it insurance. Nothing can go wrong by being humble about the small stuff.
So I have no clue honestly what I’m writing about right now. I guess I’m just babbling (<—- fun word) about whatever comes to mind.
I just am at a grey state. I’ve been hanging out with friends more and stuff… but it’s almost reverse. I have fun… but then I get back into this world and I see ALL THE S.H.I.T. it provides…. and it makes me mad… it confuses me… and it makes me sick.
I think I just realized why the hell I’ve been so moderately content with staying home all the time… my eyes glued to this damn screen….
all the issues in life hit me third person…. and anything on facebook can be gone in two clicks…. going back in real life is literally a war… its one I have to fight… but I really don’t want too :/
but yeah…. w/e
I’m done ranting. message me if you feel compelled… I’d like to talk to some sane people… which you can only find on tumblr ;D