back in Elementary school when you use to ignore certain kids who you didn’t like or made you mad, even if was just your best friend who said something mean to you that day, and then you get everyone else to join in, and then all of recess would be focused on ignoring that person (<— oxymoron)
I remember we were so legit as kids at my school we actually called it “shunning” people X)
the next day, you acted like it never happened XD
-random memory-
that I should begin blasting my ears to deaf with music…
and tune out EVERYTHING else…
It just dawned on me why teenagers never like to stay home. They always want to be out and about with friends or doing something.
Why?
Because when they are home, they are likely to become bored… and when they become bored… they can be left alone with their own thoughts…
those thoughts will force them to come to grips with all the problems and troubles in their life… all the issues they have to deal with.
They don’t want to deal with them… they don’t want to remember the problems are there. So they try and run…
They try and ignore it…
and are always looking for something to do, desperate to avoid themselves.
Those crazy awkward moments where you swear you see some kind of figure or little thing of light out of the corner of your eye and swear up and down for a few minutes your house is haunted….
then get creeped out, and pretend you never saw it.
Then you start listening to music and everything goes blank XD
What makes it so hard for people? Why can’t they come out and say something to your face? I never quite get it. It’s like no matter how well someone gets to know you, when push comes to violent shoves, they choose to forget the things that truly bother you. They shove them in your face like a disease.
If you have a problem with me, spare me the hell of playing freaking games with me. TELL ME TO MY FACE. I can freaking handle it. Don’t think I can’t. I’d rather hear it from your mouth than sit there and have people think they’re sheltering me somehow, or worst of all, try and ignore it all, and just push me out with no rhyme or reason.
THAT PISSES ME OF SO MUCH. For all the people I come close too, I truly care about them. I want to know what’s going on with them, how they’re feeling and what they think. If you have something to tell me, tell me. Don’t sit there and play these sick little games where you just randomly avoid and ignore me. It infuriates me so much. I will live. Don’t worry, seriously. I’m not going to be shattered, and I won’t be hurt. Anyone would hurt me more by leaving me with unspoken secrets and unshared reasons. To blow me off and leave me clueless is one of the few things on this earth that will open the floodgates of hell in my mind.
Spare me the pain and mental agony. TALK TO ME. That’s all I ask of anyone who is close to me. Just talk to me.
I don’t want these sick games. They make me sick. Honestly they make me want to cry, not in sadness, but just in anger, and confusion. I just want to be able to talk to the people I care about. I want to be able to love them. When there’s a problem, I don’t want drama war 2011 to break out. I just want to be able to talk those people. An honest and sincere conversation. No drama, no showing off, no hate. Just me and them. A straight conversation, and what is honestly going through both our minds.
Is it all so hard? Is it too much to ask for? Honestly…
The people of today’s world make everything so damned complicated, and then blame everyone else for the complications. I’ve seen so much drama in high school within the last few weeks. And I sit there and think… HOW FREAKING POINTLESS!!! I see these people, and they get into these huge drama fits with each other, over the SMALLEST crap… sometimes its over nothing…
Why??? WHAT IS THE POINT. WE ARE WASTING OUR LIVES OVER NOTHING!!!!!!!!!
It’s sick.
Get real everyone. Its not that hard. Wake up for five seconds and actually THINK! Granted I do too much of that, and I sound like a maniac for it. But I don’t care, its allowed me to see some of the things it feels like everyone else is missing.
Being the insane one to an insane world only makes me all the more sane.
I’m done ranting now. XD
