Life comes at us fast. We all gotta be faster.

It makes me tired and sick.  I can literally shed tears about it.  All the vile depression in this world.  All the hatred, violence, and loss of hope.  It makes me SICK.  I want to fight it.  I want to fight every ounce of it.  I have a hatred for hatred itself.  I want to watch it die under my feet.  Every last ounce of it.  All the sick people out there, all those hurting, all those lost.  Everyone who is plagued day and night by the horrors of humanity.  I WANT TO KILL IT ALL!  I want to be the one who can step in and just shove a sword through hatreds missing heart.  I want to remove the head of sickness’s vile body.  I want to DESTROY IT ALL.  It makes me sick.  I seriously pray to God that he would give me the ability, the right, SOMETHING.  ANYTHING.  I SHED TEARS OVER THIS.  I just read a post from a kid promising to commit suicide tomorrow.  It makes me sick!!! IT ALL MAKES ME SO DAMN SICK!!!!!!  Not him, but what he’s plagued with.  The hatred, the depression.  The lost feeling he has.  Like he’s alone.  IT MAKES ME SO SICK!!!! ALL OF IT.  I WANT TO KILL IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  EVERY OUNCE OF IT.  Why do so many people have to be stricken so hard?   WHY WON’T IT DIE!  I WANT IT TO DIE!  I WANT TO WATCH IT DIE!  I WANT TO BE ITS KILLER! 

It makes me so unbelievably sick.  It makes me angry.  I sit here, and get so angry at this world, at the vile people in it, and at all the corruption and vileness it contains.  Its become normal now, its become standard.  SUICIDE is something common now.  ITS COMMON!!!!!!

DO YOU REALIZE WHAT IS SO SICKLY WRONG WITH THAT FORSAKEN IDEA!?!??!?!
IT SHOULDN’T BE COMMON!  GO INTERVIEW A DANG HIGHSCHOOL.  ALLL THIS CRAP! ALL OF IT.  SUICIDE, DEPRESSION, BULIMICS, CUTTERS…. All these despicable, horrible, vile things.  AND ITS ALL COMMON! ITS ALL EXPECTED.  ALL OF IT IS THERE, AND ITS MEANING AND SEVERITY IS MISUSED AND ABUSED ON DAMN TEXTBOOK PAPER!!!!  SCREW THAT! SCREW IT!!!!!!!  INSTEAD OF HELPING THESE PEOPLE… WE JUST SIT HERE AND TALK ABOUT THEM LIKE THEY’RE A LAB EXPERIMENT?!??!?! YOU WONDER WHY THE HELL THE WORST BECOME WORSE!?!??! NOBODY WANTS TO HELP THEM. JUST SIT THERE AND STARE AT THEM LIKE SOME FREAK OF NATURE.  ITS SO DAMN S.I.C.K.

I’m fighting myself just not to type the f word here.   I become so unbelievably raged all of these things.  It makes me sick.  I want to kill it all.  All the evil in the world.  All the hatred, all the depression, all the hopelessness. 

I just want people to be happy.  I want them to smile.  See some light in the midst a hellishly dark earth.   I want to see them LIVE!  Not just breathe and walk, but LIVE!!!  That’s all I want for them.  I want to be the person who can help them.  I want to be the one who destroys all their problems.  I want to be the one who can turn to them and just in a word, make them remember a reason to be happy.   THAT’S ALL I WANT!!! THAT’S ALL I’VE WANTED!! I PRAY TO GOD HE’D GIVE ME SOME MEANS TO DO SO!!!!


Because every day, I wake up, and I go through the day, and when I get home, and I lay down in bed and think.  I hate it.  I hate it all.  I grow a barely containable rage for all the darkness in this world.  ALL OF IT.  It makes me so angry.  How sick and vile our world is.  It’s why I don’t sleep.   IT MAKES ME SO SICK. 

I WANT TO KILL IT ALL!  I WANT TO!!!
I WANT TO MUTILATE THEM, BURN THEM, AND LEAVE THEIR METAPHORICAL BODIES TO ROT.  EVERY LAST VILE IDEA AND FEELING THAT PLAGUES THIS WORLD.  I WANT IT ALL DEAD.

I. WANT. TO. KILL. IT. ALL.

Went and saw X-Men First Class today with an awesome friend.

Was a REALLY good movie.  Like if you’ve seen all the others, this one makes connections and clarifications to EVERYTHING… one of the most amazing prequel movies I have ever seen.  It was seriously sick.  If you’ve seen the others and enjoyed them, go see this movie.  Right now.  No joke.  It was epic amazing.
Also had a blasty blast with my friend :D
Got attacked by my little sister.

She bit me 0_0… hard.  Really hard.  There’s marks o.O
not fun.

Extremely tired.  Didn’t sleep much at all last night.

Don’t plan to go to sleep anytime soon though. XP 
Nerdz, Rip It, and Mountain Dew Baja Blast :D

Our lives here on earth live for the short term.
We live burdens just for the small and temporary enjoyment that comes as reward.

Summer break for example.  Today was my last day of school.
I don’t truly feel any different.  Honestly I’m just happy I’ll get to sleep in tomorrow.

But so many kids obsess over it.  Have you listened to them before?
OH GOD CAN THE WEEKEND COME ANY FASTER!?!??!
OH ITS ALMOST SUMMER
OH ITS ALMOST CHRISTMAS!!!

I mean… I can understand the excitement.  But I feel like it’s an issue when the short moments of joy we get from these thing are ALL we Live for…
Ever heard the term “TGIF” ?  (Thank God It’s Friday)
People became so obsessed with the term and the idea they made a restaurant for it!  ok…. really?
DON’T THANK GOD FOR THAT!!!!!!!
You wanna thank God for something…. Thank God its just another day in general.  Another day you’re alive and are blessed enough to live the life you have now…
to be so blessed as to be reading this… considering you can afford a computer… and a tumblr… and to live in a developed country.

Don’t thank God for something so small and trivial.  The beauty in a butterfly is worth more praise then the fact that it’s a friday… -.-

I’m not getting pumped for something so small as what day it is. 
I think too many people put too much of their focus on too many small things.  We need to be looking bigger.  We need to look farther out.  We need to SUFFER… and wait for the greatest rewards, that last longer, and only come after much time, and pain. 

Just my thought of the day.

Have an awesome day and summer Tumblr!
God Bless (:

Didn’t sleep fantastically well last night… I woke up in tears…
I don’t completely understand why…

and then the song “Life After Death (and Taxes)” by Relient K kinda of crept in and raped my mind…
so yeah….


going to be a chill day… with my mood right now… I’ll probably end up posting some threateningly long “deep thought” post later today… so… prepare to do alot of scrolling as you skip through my bit of madness XD

goodmorning tumblr peepz..
and for all my new followers!  thank you :D

Speedy shutting up.

My head is messing with my heart.  Or maybe it’s the other way. o.O
I think it’s both.

I had a few dreams last night.  All of them closely related.  All of them linking to each other.  When I woke up I felt guilty.  Because I didn’t know which one to hate.  My dreams are my nightmares.  I hate sleep, because I dream, and a dream that could make anyone else happy, leaves me feeling so messed up inside when I wake up.  They are my nightmares.  They get me believing something, and then I’m left destroyed when real life tells me it was all a lie.  I HATE THEM.
One day, someone is going to look at me and say, why are your eyes so dark.  Do you sleep?
I’ll probably respond with some sarcastic statement like “What’s sleep?” and walk away.

For a while, a couple months ago, things were easier.  I wasn’t as worried about crap.  I could sleep.  I could dream.  And it wasn’t a nightmare.
That died.  I don’t expect it to come back.

Nobody said life was easy.  I’d like to meet “Nobody” someday, and have him tell me that to my face. 

lol win

(via girlinthemooon)